Who is used as the subject of a sentence, while whom is used as the object of a verb or preposition. Use who when the person performs the action and whom when the person receives the action. A simple test is to replace the word with he or him. If he fits, use who. If him fits, use whom.
Many people feel unsure when choosing between whom or who. The confusion is very common because both words refer to people and sound similar in everyday speech. In modern conversation, many people avoid using whom completely, which makes the grammar rule harder to remember.
Writers often search for “whom or who” because using the wrong word can make sentences sound awkward or incorrect, especially in formal writing, academic work, or professional emails. Understanding the difference helps your writing become clear and polished.
This guide explains everything in a simple way. You will learn grammar rules, easy memory tricks, real life examples, common mistakes, usage in modern English, practice exercises with answers, and frequently asked questions. By the end, you will confidently know when to use who and when to use whom.
Whom or Who Quick Answer
Who is used as the subject of a sentence.
Whom is used as the object of a verb or preposition.
Simple Examples
- Who called you yesterday?
- To whom did you speak?
Quick Test
Replace the word with he or him.
- If he fits, use who.
- If him fits, use whom.
Example:
- Who called? → He called.
- Whom did you call? → You called him.
Grammar Rules Explained
Understanding grammar roles makes the difference clear.
Who as a Subject
A subject performs an action.
Who acts like he, she, or they in a sentence.
Examples
- Who is coming to dinner?
- Who wrote this book?
- Who wants coffee?
In each sentence, who is doing the action.
Whom as an Object
An object receives the action.
Whom acts like him, her, or them.
Examples
- Whom did you invite?
- With whom are you traveling?
- Whom should I contact?
In these examples, the action is done to the person.
Subject vs Object Comparison
- Who called you?
- You called whom?
Seeing both together helps show the difference clearly.
The He or Him Trick
This is the easiest rule for remembering whom or who.
Step One
Replace the word with he or him.
Step Two
Check which one sounds correct.
Examples
- Who is at the door?
He is at the door.
Who is correct. - Whom did you see?
You saw him.
Whom is correct.
Why This Trick Works
Who matches subject pronouns like he and she.
Whom matches object pronouns like him and her.
This method works almost every time.
Why People Make Mistakes With Whom or Who
This confusion happens for several reasons.
Modern Speech Simplifies Grammar
Many people use who in all situations during conversation. Over time, whom feels old fashioned or formal.
Grammar Rules Feel Complex
Subject and object roles are not always easy to identify quickly.
Formal Writing Pressure
People often use whom incorrectly because they think it sounds smarter.
Fear of Being Wrong
Some writers avoid whom completely to prevent mistakes.
Language Change Over Time
English changes constantly. In casual speech, who has replaced whom in many situations.
Whom or Who in Real Life Usage
Daily Conversation
In everyday speech, people mostly use who.
- Who are you talking to?
- Who did you call?
These are technically acceptable in casual contexts.
Professional Emails
Formal writing may still prefer whom.
- To whom it may concern
- Whom should I contact for support?
Academic Writing
Academic and legal writing often keeps whom for correctness.
- The person whom the study focused on
- The participant whom researchers interviewed
News and Media
News outlets often use whom when clarity is important.
- The candidate whom voters supported
- The witness whom police questioned
Whom or Who in Questions
Questions often create confusion, so let us look closer.
Subject Questions Use Who
- Who broke the window?
- Who wants to join us?
- Who called earlier?
The person does the action.
Object Questions Use Whom
- Whom did you invite?
- Whom are you meeting later?
- Whom should I ask?
The person receives the action.
Rearranging Helps
Change question order to see the object.
- You invited whom?
- You are meeting whom?
Whom After Prepositions
One strong rule is this:
After a preposition, use whom.
Common prepositions include:
to, with, for, about, from, by
Examples
- To whom did you speak?
- With whom are you traveling?
- For whom is this gift?
In casual speech, many people move the preposition to the end:
- Who did you speak to?
Both are accepted, but the first is more formal.
British and American English Usage
There is no strict difference between British and American English rules, but usage style varies.
American English
Who is often preferred in conversation.
- Who are you talking to?
British English
Formal writing may keep whom slightly more often.
- To whom should I write?
In both regions, casual speech favors who.
When Whom Sounds Too Formal
Modern English sometimes avoids whom because it can sound overly formal.
Natural Modern Style
- Who did you send the email to?
- Who are you waiting for?
These are widely accepted today.
Formal Style
- To whom did you send the email?
- For whom are you waiting?
Choose based on audience and tone.
Common Mistakes and Corrections
Wrong: Whom is coming to dinner?
Correct: Who is coming to dinner?
Wrong: Who did you speak with?
Formal Correction: Whom did you speak with?
Wrong: The person who I met yesterday
Formal Correction: The person whom I met yesterday
Wrong: Whom wants coffee?
Correct: Who wants coffee?
Whom or Who in Relative Clauses
Relative clauses often cause confusion.
Who in Relative Clauses
- The teacher who helped me was kind.
- The friend who called you is here.
Who is the subject.
Whom in Relative Clauses
- The teacher whom I thanked smiled.
- The person whom you met is my cousin.
Whom receives the action.
Who vs Whom in Formal Writing
Formal writing values clarity and grammar.
Business Writing
- To whom should the report be sent?
- The client whom we contacted responded quickly.
Academic Writing
- Participants whom researchers observed showed improvement.
Legal Writing
- The individual whom the law protects
Using whom correctly shows grammatical precision.
Who vs Whom in Modern Everyday English
Modern English is more flexible.
Many grammarians accept who in object positions during casual communication.
Examples:
- Who did you call?
- Who are you talking to?
Both are common and natural.
However, understanding whom helps when formal tone is needed.
Easy Memory Tips
He or Him Test
Use he or him to check.
Preposition Rule
After to, with, for, or from, use whom in formal writing.
Sentence Flip
Rewrite sentence normally.
- You called him → Whom did you call?
Whom or Who in More Sentences
Simple Sentences
- Who is there?
- Whom did you invite?
Medium Sentences
- Who will lead the project?
- Whom should we ask for help?
Formal Sentences
- The author whom critics praised won an award.
- Who is responsible for the decision?
Related Grammar Confusions
Learning similar grammar topics helps.
- who vs which
- whose vs who’s
- whoever vs whomever
- that vs which
- its vs it’s
These often appear together in grammar learning.
Practice Exercises
Fill in the Blanks
- ______ is calling you right now?
Answer: Who - To ______ should I address the letter?
Answer: whom - ______ did you see at the event?
Answer: whom - ______ wants to join the team?
Answer: Who - With ______ are you traveling?
Answer: whom - ______ made this decision?
Answer: Who
Choose the Correct Word
- (Who / Whom) wrote this article?
Answer: Who - (Who / Whom) did you invite to the party?
Answer: Whom - (Who / Whom) is responsible for this project?
Answer: Who - To (who / whom) should I speak?
Answer: Whom - (Who / Whom) called me last night?
Answer: Who
FAQs
What is the difference between who and whom?
Who is used as the subject of a sentence, while whom is used as the object of a verb or preposition.
When should I use whom in a sentence?
Use whom when the person receives the action or follows a preposition, especially in formal writing.
Is whom still used in modern English?
Yes, but mostly in formal writing. In casual speech, many people use who instead.
Can I always use who instead of whom?
In casual conversation, often yes. In formal or academic writing, whom is usually preferred when grammatically correct.
How can I easily remember whom or who?
Use the he or him test. If him fits, use whom. If he fits, use who.
Why does whom sound old fashioned?
Modern spoken English has simplified grammar, and who has replaced whom in many everyday situations.
Is To whom it may concern still correct?
Yes, this is a standard formal phrase and should use whom.
Conclusion
The difference between whom and who becomes simple once you understand subject and object roles. Who is used when the person performs the action, while whom is used when the person receives the action. The he or him test is an easy way to choose correctly.
Although modern conversation often prefers who, whom still has an important place in formal writing, academic work, and professional communication. Knowing both forms gives you flexibility and confidence as a writer.
By practicing examples and using simple checks, you can avoid one of the most common grammar mistakes in English. Whether you are writing emails, essays, or professional documents, understanding whom or who helps your writing sound clear, correct, and polished.
Mark Wood is a word enthusiast and writer at EchoWordss.com, turning synonyms and vocabulary into engaging, practical insights. His content helps readers elevate their writing and communicate with confidence and precision.
